Ooh Girl, Those Boots are UGGly

There are a lot of things wrong with this picture, but we will start with the choice of footwear.

At times I contemplate why I put myself through the harsh conditions that accompany winter in the city of Chicago as I stand on the corner waiting for the bus while my entire body and soul freeze. This treacherous winter weather is approaching and the stores are beginning to roll out their winter varieties: mittens, scarves, coats and boots. When you go to pick yourself up a spanking new pair of boots, I strongly urge you to avoid Ugg boots at all costs.

I understand that the main selling point behind Ugg boots is that they are lined with “genuine sheepskin” (according to their website), making them very warm in the brutal winters. There are other boots out there that are just as warm as these awful boots.

Ugg boots, typically having an outer layer of suede, get wet really easily. If it rains, snows or hails (and around here it does that a lot) your feet are no longer warm. Instead, your warm Ugg boots just turned into a soppy, wet, freezing cold pair of feet coverings. Nothing sends a chill up your spine faster than when your feet are wet, turning your toes into baby raisins attached to your feet.

When Ugg boots get wet and salt gets on them, they become trashed. You cannot wash or wipe off the damage done to the boot and then have to invest in a new pair. At about $200 a pop, it can cost an extraordinary amount of money to keep up with Ugg boots.

Some people say that Uggs are great because you can wear them all year round. If you are one of these imbeciles who wear a mini skirt and sheepskin lined boots in ninety-five degree weather, you have to be kidding me. Keeping your tootsies warm in July and pairing it with a barely-there mini skirt and a spaghetti tank just simply blows my mind. Do your knees sweat while your ankles freeze?

Overall it simply looks like these Ugg boots are just plain Uggly. I think that they look like someone stuffed their feet into a camel colored marshmallow, add to that the fact that they are easily damaged and run a high cost, it just makes sense to save my self-respect (and cash) and go for a different option in terms of winter footwear.

Published in The Chicago Flame October 31, 2010

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